'Half baked Yank twang' - Listen for yourself

My stint with the Republicans attracted some media interest back home. You can check out my interview with RTE Radio 1's Ryan Tubridy by clicking on the following link.
http://www.rte.ie/radio1/thetubridyshow/1230776.html
The interview starts at 38.45 if you are listening using RealPlayer. For what it's worth my Dad is convinced I've acquired a 'half baked yank twang.' And here was me thinking I'd perfected my Ross O'Carroll Kelly impression. Cheers Da.
I'll be posting a proper update in the next couple of days. There is a lot to tell...

Are Republicans evil?

For many the above is a rhetorical question. Not wishing to jump to such a conclusion myself I decided to find out the only way I knew how. By going undercover with the GOP...

When I informed my Democratic party colleagues of my plan their reaction surprised me. Sure, they were curious about what info a mole could discover but some were genuinely concerned about my personal safety. Surely that was going too far thought lil ol liberal me.

You may be surprised to learn the McCain camp doesn't have a headquarters in Houston. So instead I called into the local branch of the Republican party in the city and was greeted with open arms. My spiel about supporting McCain cause he is in favour of legalising the Irish Americans won em over. In my defence I didn't tell them any blatant porkies.

Did I mention I was on the Obama campaign since April? Well they never asked.

It may come as a disappointment to some readers that they weren't burning effigies of Senator Obama. What went on in the GOP office was standard campaign fare. Think phonecalls, flogging yard signs and stuffing hundreds of envelopes which I was assured is a classic Republican tactic.

Where did they differ was the type of person who volunteers for McCain's campaign. Most were women around my mother's age (sorry mum) with the occasional female in their 20's. More about them later.

Running the operation was a larger than life character and hardcore Republican who for potential legal reasons I shall refer to as Fred. Literally one of the first things Fred told me after I revealed my nationality was that he spoke to an Egyptian guy who couldn't get over America was going to elect a Muslim. It was a sign of things to come.

Not wanting to give myself away I kept a low profile and eavesdropped on conversations on my first day with my new pals. One such gem was a discussion involving a bunch of women in their 50's about an email of religious prophecies which is going round predicting McCain's impending triumph.

A lady piped up and said, "McCain isn't saved by Jesus Christ but when he gets elected he will become born again." To a casual observer it seemed to validate why he is going to get her vote come November.

Curiously none of the Republicans I spoke to said John McCain was their first choice for their party's nomination. Most preferred Fred Thompson or Mike Huckabee. The inclusion of a certain Alaska Governor on the ticket has changed all that and sales of 'Read my Lipstick' and 'Sarah Palin will make a great President' stickers were doing a healthy trade.

For my amusement I told Fred I'd been asked to register to vote about 20 times. He chuckled and said, "Well that's not something you'll be hearing much about round here." History shows that when the turnout is low it favours the Republicans and one things for sure that will not be the case this time round.

Gaining more confidence (and their trust) I got the neck to ask more questions of my hosts. Do they really believe their opponent is a Muslim?

"Barack Obama has been associated with Islam for too long for it to just to be a coincidence," said one volunteer.

They questioned Obama's patriotism and Fred was impressed with McCain's defence of Obama at a red meat town hall meeting last week.

"John McCain showed why he is a good man by defending him. Obama might say he's a family man but one things for sure he isn't getting anywhere near my family," said Fred.

Perhaps familiarity breeds contempt but the longer I spent with the Republicans the more willing they were to spew vitriol in my presence. Or maybe it was just because I was diligent at stacking the 'Re-elect Republican judges' fliers.

A lady buying a yard sign said, "Obama must be destroyed," while another said, "He hates America."

Worse was to come. Much worse.

Amidst all the hatred I struck up a conversation with the Republican equivalent of my good friend Ken. Hank as he shall be known was more balanced and raised some interesting points.

"Obama is from the east end of Chicago and has associated with radicals in the past. That calls into question his character and the American public deserves to know more about him. Is he going to be getting advice off former terrorists if he gets into the White House?"

More relevant were Hank's views on the tone of this year's election.

"Negative campaign ads work when they are done right. There will be more of them no doubt. This year's election is really a referendum on Barack Obama. Will the country be safe with him in charge?"

Twas reassuring to know they weren't all bigots. Then I encountered Jean (not her real name).

At first glance Jean has the 'butter wouldn't melt' look. Aged 24 she's the kind of girl my mother would like me to bring home. Then she spoke.

One of the more printable statements she uttered in my presence was, "I used to hope Obama would get assassinated but that would make him a martyr. Now I just hope he gets some kind of disease and dies instead."

My proverbial jaw hit the ground and it was hard to remain calm when such rhetoric was being spewed. Jean was utterly convinced Obama was a Muslim, hates America and plans to destroy Israel. Oh and he wants to kill babies too.

What was particularly disturbing was her hate filled chants geed up the handful of volunteers in the office. They genuinely believe this shit.

I tried to rationalise with her even resorting to quoting Richard Nixon (see below) but it made no difference. According to her I'm a "Post modernist idealist." She's probably right though she did omit my self righteous moniker.

After two days of absorbing all of this I reached a rather terrifying conclusion. In the whole the Republicans I "palled around with" were in the main decent people. They made sure I never went hungry and gave me a lift back to my residence each night. Well a few blocks away.

What they are though is ignorant and paralysed with fear. Obama and the media are their enemy. Anything that represents a contrast to their ideology is immediately shot down (literally according to some) and must be "destroyed."

It made me sad to be around people, a small few a similar age to me, who had so many good qualities but diluted it all but believing such garbage. No one is suggesting Barack Obama is the perfect man, he says as much himself, but to suggest he is an enemy of the state made me weep inside.

As my second day drew to a close I accepted the offer of a lift from Jean's mother. Go ahead and call me a hypocrite but it was a long walk instead! We chatted and it was evident Jean was a chip off the old block.

Still trying to reason with them as we approached my final destination near the Houston Holocaust Museum I ventured, "That museum is a testament to hatred." Not that it made any difference.

I realise this a rather lengthy post and I shall be writing more about my Republican experience in the next few days. For those of you still interested the Richard Nixon quote I gave Jean was something he said as he was departing the White House.

"Always give your best, never get discouraged, never be petty; always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself."

Not that she got it or anything. Then again there weren't any pictures of Nixon in the Republican headquarters. He's been erased from their history and so has that sentiment he so memorably gave.

Pic: Yours truly trying to keep a straight face at the Republican headquarters in Houston.

Tantrums, tears and turkey

Political wonks are, my friends (McCainism), an increasingly bizarre bunch and I'm rapidly changing (Obamaism) into one.

More than a fortnight has passed since my last post and during that time I've been thrown into the deep end of the Houston election climate.
Post Ike the city is now getting back into gear and with less than a month to go till decision day there isn't a moment to spare. Put simply everyone is flat out working crazy hours, surviving on a few hours sleep and when you do pass out into the land of nod you find yourself dreaming about the election. Or maybe that's just me.

Barack Obama's campaign is unique in that they really have adopted a fifty state strategy. For the first time in years Texas has some paid Democratic staffers, 13 to be precise, with four deployed in my temporary home of Houston. That's one Obamano for every one million people in this city. Bear in mind that there were 30 Obama paid staff in Houston for the primary and there are over 300 currently in Florida.

With the numbers stacked against us the staff have to improvise to cope with the demands of such a huge state. Stress has certainly taken its toll on them and I've witnessed tears and tantrums which even Sir Elton would find hard to compete with.

A fine example is my friend and colleague Ken Flippin who works for the Democratic National Committee and like Obama he started off as a community organiser. Ken has enjoyed about as much luck this year as most of us have on the lotto. Without revealing too much he's had two laptops stolen and his car blew up. That's just the stuff he's allowed me to reveal (I think).

Despite the personal misfortune Ken's relentless enthusiasm continues to amaze me. A couple of hours after his latest laptop was pinched he was working on voter registration strategies and speaking passionately about how we're going to win this thing.

"If I was a Republican," he recalled, "then maybe I'd be rich but I doubt I'd be happy. What Obama is doing and what he is going to do in office makes me think so what if things aren't perfect for me now. What we are doing is far more important than my own personal stuff."

Amen to that.

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Assuming things don't go pear shaped in the next 26 days Barack Obama will become the next President of the United States. A major factor in that will be the millions of people who have registered to vote for the first time in this election.

Last Monday was the final day of 'voter reg' as we have deemed it and there were over 50 separate drives in Houston. I was dispatched outside a Half Price bookstore in Rice Village for my afternoon shift and went through several books.

Although this was a non partisan registration drive it was pretty obvious to me, minus my Obama shirt, who people were signing up for. When the turnout is high it favours the Democrats and 70% of new voters go for the boys in blue. Over 1.5m people have signed up in Pennsylvania contributing to his advantage there while he is leading the way in North Carolina, a state the Democrats haven't won since 1976. That's the last time Texas went blue so maybe it's an omen.

Back to my stint at the bookstore where I was pleasantly surprised that most of the people I spoke to were already registered. And of course I ran into a fellow Irishman who hails from Mayo who later joined me for our pubcrawl voter reg drive. See below.

Whilst I was signing up new voters I was approached by a bunch of folks from California who were in town for a few days. One of their crew asked me to recommend a good place to eat so I pointed out my favourite Turkish restaurant just round the corner.

His reply said with a totally straight face was, "I love turkey. That sounds really good. Thanks man." He continued to tell his friends about how much he loves turkey at Christmas all said with a beaming west coast grin. I simply didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise.

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After tucking into my kebab (minus the turkey) our voter reg team hit the pubs to sign up some punters. Along with my new Irish friend Seamus we signed up hundreds of people before the clock struck twelve.

Our original plan was to have a drink for every voter we registered but it became pretty obvious that we'd be broke and likely in a hospital within an hour. Some people simply refused like a young barman with Irish American roots but when I told him I was a Paddy and that people were killing each other for the right to vote in Zimbabwe he promptly got onboard.

Telling people you HAVE to vote in Australia also worked as did 'you get the government deserve' line. By the time the cards were counted the next day all of us combined had signed up almost 1,300 voters.

The cards had to be turned in by 5pm at the latest although there were rumours circling that the deadline was noon. Not true but it served to put the fear of God into us.

Ken and I organised all of the cards by deputy registrar number, no easy feat, and then checked through em all for errors. Cards can be rejected for the smallest of reasons like the box for US citizen not being ticked or a poorly legible drivers licence number. We got on the phone to the voters to fix any mistakes.

Anyway we turned in our cards bang on 4pm and could relax. Or at least we thought we could. Some other registrars came in with a stack of over 2,000 cards at 4.45 and these all had to be sorted. Fortunately the staff working at the Tax Assessors office complied and helped out sorting through the cards.

Later on as we dotted the i's and crossed the t's a man who is a senior staff member walked in and remarked, "Oh you're fixing the cards then." Bear in mind the Tax Assessors office is currently Republican controlled. Go figure.

We worked well past the deadline on the cards and this gentleman later returned to the room and suggested that rejection letters should be sent to the remaining people whose cards we were still working on. His staff declined the request and continued to process the cards. Maybe they see the writing on the wall and want to hang onto their jobs when, as expected, the Democratic candidate is the new tax assessor after the election.

My friend Ken said in a rather sarcastic voice to the Republican guy, "Isn't it great that so many people want to vote in this election?" Even for an American I think the Republican spotted the irony.
Pic: Ken Flippin and I holding hundreds of voter reg cards